dejadrew

Cell phone vigilante jams loud phone calls on the bus.

....Holy crap.

Holy CRAP.

Guys. It's The Murderer. This news story... it's Ray Bradbury's short story The Murderer.

     "Then  I got the idea of the portable diathermy machine. I rented one, took
  it  on  the  bus  going  home that night. There sat all the tired commuters with
  their wrist radios, talking to their wives, saying, 'Now I'm at Forty-third, now
  I am at Forty-fourth, here I am at Forty-ninth, now turning at Sixty-first.' One
  husband  cursing,  'Well,  get  out of that bar, damn it, and get home and get
  dinner  started,  I'm at Seventieth!' And the transit system radio playing 'Tales
  from  the Vienna Woods,' a canary singing words about a first-rate wheat cereal.
  Then  I  switched  on my diathermy! Static! Interference! All wives cut off from
  husbands  grousing  about  a  hard  day at the office. All husbands cut off from
  wives  who  had  just  seen  their  children  break a window! The 'Vienna Woods'
  chopped down, the canary mangled! Silence! A terrible, unexpected silence. The
  bus  inhabitants  faced  with  having to converse with each other. Panic! Sheer,
  animal panic!"

Leaving aside for the moment how douchey or not douchey the real guy doing this may have been.... Dude. We are genuinely, OFFICIALLY living in a Science Fiction dystopia. I... don't know how to feel about that....

Brain: It is three am. THREE. AY. EM. We need to SLEEP, dammit.

Body: But we can't sleep! We need to stand watch and guard the herds against saber-toothed tigers!

Brain: For the hundred millionth time, we have no herds. Not one single herd. Nary a herd. We have never had a herd, we never WILL have a herd.

Body: ...We COULD...

Brain: NOT in the middle of Tokyo. Where there are also, I might add, NO SABRE-TOOTHED TIGERS.

Body: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

Brain: I do! Actually! That's my job! I'm the brain! I know things! Like how I know that you're some bizarre buried evolutionary impulse that is thousands of years behind the times and has only ever served to stop us from keeping a sensible sleep schedule! Now GO TO SLEEP!

Body: Don't wanna. I'm hungry.

Brain: You're... Well TOO BLOODY BAD. You're not going to find anything to eat at three am.

Tokyo: Actually, there's a 24-hour discount bento place right around the corner. You could get take out.

Brain: That's...

Tokyo: Or the 24-hour convenience store across the street has deli stuff. And the 24-hour hyakuen shop has instant curry and noodles and stuff...

Brain: It's not...

Body: Ooo, curry...

Tokyo: Or there's a 24-hour soba restaurant just down the road. Or you could go to the 24-hour supermarket and get groceries...

Brain: SHUT UP TOKYO YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

Body: Maybe while we're out getting food we can find a herd to guard!

Brain: AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Okay, okay, so I wasn't actually adopted by a pack of tanuki. Although I was kinda adopted for a night by a roving pack of Japanese senior citizens a couple of weeks ago who bought me pocky and grape soda and made me come to karaoke with them, does that count? But yeah, apparently posting every week was excessively ambitious. Old habits die very hard. But I am going to try to do better.

So! My first post from Tokyo! What am I going to talk about tonight? Ueno zoo? The temples in Asakusa? Yoyogi park and the Meiji Jingu Shrine? Akibahara electric town?

All of them, eventually, I hope. But not tonight.

Tonight, I am going to write about public baths.

Good sweet merciful MURGATROYD do I love the public bath.

If there is a heaven, and I get to go there, there had better be a sentou. Seriously.

See, the thing is, my guest house, while it is a very nice guest house and the price is right, has only a shower stall, no bathtub. A minor disappointment, if that. More troublesome is the fact that the bathroom. Is. Not. Heated. This will not be a problem in the summer months, when I imagine we will all be sweltering and trying to peel out of our skin, but in the winter, it means every shower ends with a mad scramble to dive out of the shower stall and into my clothes quickly enough that I won't freeze to death en route.

Thankfully, across the street is a sentou, public bath house. And it is warm. Good God, glorious, glorious WARMTH. I can't afford to go every night, but I consider it more than worth it to treat myself once a week just for the chance to be wet and naked and WARM. One of the Japanese ladies there was asking me something about "poka poka" a few trips ago. I had no idea what that meant at the time. She was making vague gestures in the vicinity of her chest; I wondered if she was saying something about my boobs. Well, she still could have been, I guess, but it turns out "poka poka" means something like "a feeling of warmth throughout your body." So now that I've looked that up, yes, wholehearted agreement, ma'am. Poka poka. F*#^ing A.

A lot of Japanese people AND gaijin are surprised to find out I like the sentou. "Aren't you embarrassed? Most foreigners are too embarrassed to go." "Aren't you scared? I could never be naked in front of other people like that." I... don't see the trouble, honestly. It... well, it takes two people to be embarrassed, doesn't it? One person to do something embarrassing, and another person to witness it AS an embarrassing act. No one else in the sentou thinks being naked in the baths is weird or shameful, so why would I? Context is everything, right?

I was honestly much more worried and embarrassed about everything besides nudity. Being naked is easy. Anyone can take their clothes off. But figuring out the complicated protocol of who gets to sit next to the cool water tap so you don't boil, and for how long, THAT has taken me multiple trips to figure out. (As near as I can figure out, nobody's allowed to just ASK for a turn in the good spot, but if someone looks at all overheated, you should ask them if they are hot and immediately offer it to them, and if you're lucky enough to get that seat you have a duty to use your hands to swish the cooler water over to the other bathers. WEEKS it has taken me to parse this. Nobody details this kind of stuff in the travel guides.) I've been petrified of committing some horrible breach of manners. Fortunately, little old ladies keep popping over to correct me and show me the proper way to do things (though I still had to figure out stuff like the cool spot etiquette thing myself)

Mmm. A seated shower in a heated room. Hot water that never runs out. A jacuzzi that doesn't smell like chlorine. No clingy sticky bathing suit to get between you and the water. And today I did laundry, so I brought a fresh change of clothes. Nothing beats getting clean and warm and then putting on fresh clean clothes. I'm still all comfy and glowy. Poka poka. The folks who are too scared to strip don't know what they're missing.

This journal's about to see some more activity, hopefully, along with a slight shift in focus. Instead of posting some random pop culture related thing and then forgetting about it for months on end, I'm going to try to post at least every week, maybe more. Why?

Because I'm about to get on a plane to Japan.

...

...Eep.

So, yeah, I decided to get out of the basement and go out and do things, and naturally decided to do it in the most drastic way possible; a six month working holiday visa. I've been freaking out for weeks, but right this second I'm bizarrely calm. Possibly I used up the last of the good panic last night when I thought I'd lost the camera my dad gave me for the trip. Possibly it's just the sleep deprivation fogging it out, since I didn't finish packing and other last minute errands 'til four am. I may just not have the energy left for freaking out. If that's the case, I should start panicking again once this Caramel Creme Brulee Frappuccino kicks in fully. (Starbucks wants to kill me, but at least it wants me to die happy.)

All righty, I should grab a sandwich at Tim Horton's just in case we don't get properly fed on this flight. If all goes well, I should be logging in again at the hotel. If all does not go well, I get horribly lost in the Tokyo subway and wind up going feral and being adopted by a pack of tanuki. We'll see.

I found out from bookblather 's lj, and read further on the author's official website. Diana Wynne Jones died today.

When I was a kid, I used to binge read. I would find a book I liked, and then I would promptly sign out every single other book the author had ever written from the library. I would then read them back to back to back, reading in the halls absently dodging passing classmates, reading in class with a book tucked in my binder, reading in bed with my lamp muffle under a blanket to dim the light (causing one very small but memorable fire), reading until I was staggering around in a daze with a literary hangover.

Diana Wynne Jones was one of my first great book binges. If it had been any other drug but books it would have ended with me waking up in a hotel in some strange country with a headache and no idea how I'd got there. As it was I woke up in my own home with a head full of strange countries and no idea how I'd got back.

Castle in the Air. Howl's Moving Castle. Charmed Life. The Nine Lives of Christopher Chant. Dogsbody. The Homeward Bounders. On  and on and on.

Diana Wynne Jones is dead.

...Fuck.

PHEW. Blizzard just backed down on RealID.

Thank heavens someone at Blizzard was astute enough to look at THE INTERNET EXPLODING and figure "Hey, um, maybe we SHOULDN'T force our users to violate the first rule every child being schooled in basic Internet safety is ever taught."

Always nice to get a win. Granted, we probably didn't persuade them on moral grounds or convince them of the danger, but rather just overwhelmed them with the sheer force of "Angry Nerds are ANGRY and when they are ANGRY they are slightly less likely to give us money," but hey, it works.

A word to anyone who plays World of Warcraft or knows someone who does. Blizzard's official forums have always had a problem with trolling and flaming. Some bright spark at Blizzard has decided that the solution to the problem posed by John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory is to remove the veil of anonymity: they are going to require that everyone post under their real, full names.

Think about that: everyone who posts a question in the tech support forum. Everyone who posts a bug report. Everyone on a roleplaying forum organizing an event. Everyone chiming in on Customer Feedback. Is going to have to reveal their real, full, legal names.

In other words: Blizzard is "fighting" forum trolls by giving them the means to FOLLOW YOU OUT OF THE GODDAMN FORUM.

People who will be hurt by this change, or forced to leave the community and be silenced:

Female players with obviously female identified names, who will be opening themselves to potential harassment from sexist jerks.

Trans individuals whose legal names do not reflect their chosen gender, who will be opening themselves to potential harassment from transphobic jerks.

People with ethnically distinct names, (all the Goldsteins, Jamals, Abduls, Julios, and Yangs out there) who will be opening themselves to potential harassment from racist jerks.

ANYONE with a name unique enough to allow someone to track them down, either to another site like facebook, or to their physical address. (At one point this included me. For a while the top result for a google search of my name was a local newspaper article talking about my involvement in a hometown event. It was a small town, and was the only person with my last name in the phonebook at the time. It would have been very, very easy to find me if someone had been so inclined.) A really dedicated troll could work from a more common name by using bits of personal data gleaned from offhand remarks to narrow it down (mentioned they just attended a Jonathan Coulton concert: what city was JoCo performing in that weekend? And so on.)

Anyone "internet famous" (webcartoonists, YouTubers, bloggers, even real-world celebrities) who does not want their creepy fanbase following them around outside their own blog.

Anyone applying for a job who doesn't want the first thing an employer sees when googling their name to be their in-depth post on the proper way to roleplay a tauren plagueshifter.

Anyone who has had problems with stalking, abusive relationships, or rape in their pasts who is hiding from an abuser and doesn't want them to follow them into the forums.

People NOT harmed by this decision:

Straight white cisgendered men who are completely open to everyone they know about their gaming habits, have a secure job in a gaming related field, have absolutely no unpleasant/crazy exes or relatives or acquaintances, and also are named "John Smith."

***********************************

A good link roundup here.

My sister and I, like so many, have been frustrated and fretting about the upcoming Airbender movie and the whitewashing of its heroes.

Sis: "I mean, I just wish there was more OUT there. With heroes of colour and diverse casts, so that we could go to them and show Hollywood that they CAN be successful. If only there was another kids' action movie with non-white stars...."

Me: "OH F$%K."

Sis: "What?"

Me: "We're gonna have to see the goddamn Karate Kid remake, aren't we?"

Sis: "....Huh. F$%k. I guess we are."

I mean, it's not like the Karate Kid movie is likely to be one-hundred percent unproblematic. There's the karate/kung fu confusion (though apparently the Kid may actually already have studied a little karate in the States before he came to China, and then gets hard core into learning Kung Fu after he arrives. If that's true, then that both kinda explains the title and acknowleges that there is a difference between the styles. So, woo). There's potential for the tired old "Westerner goes to foreign land and becomes awesomer than they are at all their stuff" plot, which is always an eye-roller. And at this point heaven only knows whether the women will get to do anything other than set up the plot. But look at this trailer.



Not a single white person. ANYWHERE. In the entire trailer. The black Kid hugs and waves goodbye to his black friends, then goes to China with his black mom, where he meets the Asian love-interest, Asian antagonists, and Asian mentor figure. It's possible that a caucasian character might show up at some point in the actual movie, but the trailer makes it clear that all the major players are of African or Asian descent, and the most important relationship in the film, to which most of the screen time will be devoted, is between the characters played by Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan.

I wasn't old enough in 1984 for the original Karate Kid to be a nostalgic part of my childhood, and this isn't the kind of movie I would normally go out of my way to see. There's nothing WRONG with tween boy martial arts power fantasies, I just usually prefer robots or magic mixed with mine as a matter of personal taste. But the scenery is pretty, the martial arts look like they oughta be reasonably well choreographed, Chan will probably be funny and butt-kicky, and, well, f$%k. Time to put my money where my mouth is. I'm gonna go see the goddamn Karate Kid remake.

And if it doesn't suck, I'll see it twice.

bookblather posted a book meme that looked like fun, figured I'd give it a whirl.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4-7 sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people. Tag yer own darn self. I'm sleepy!

"Nearest book," in my case, is, em.... Look, I am currently currently experiencing a boom stage in the book population cycle. So when you say "nearest," I start to ask things like "by nearest, do you mean the book at the TOP of the towering stack, or the one at eye-level?"

I'll go with the "close eyes, stick a hand out, start groping, hope you do not trigger a massive bibliographic avalanche" method of selection.

( Lessee, here.... *fumble fumble* )

(SCENE: a science fiction and comic book expo a couple years back. A smiling recruiter working the table for a local club devoted to geeky interests accosts a group of three female cosplayers.)

Geek Recruiter: Hi, ladies! Would you like to join the Gaming Club? It's a great way to meet men!*

Nerd Girls: ...

Geek Recruiter: What?

Nerd Girl A: Um, you HAVE noticed that we're all at a COMIC BOOK CONVENTION, right?

Nerd Girl B: Cosplaying as X-men characters?

Nerd Girl C: I'm dressed as Rogue, for God's sake.

Nerd Girl A: Plus, we all happen to be members of the university anime club. I think we already know how to meet nerdy men.

Nerd Girl C: Believe me, quantity is not an issue.

Nerd Girl B: Regular bathing is, though. Where do you guys stand on that?

Geek Recruiter: Hey, we've gotten a LOT BETTER about the bathing...**

Nerd Girl A: Plus, by using that as your main selling point, instead of, you know, gaming, you're basically implying that you think the main reason we'd want to join a gaming club is to hunt for husbands.

Nerd Girl B: Which is dumb. I play Dungeons and Dragons every week!

Nerd Girl C: I'm her DM!

Nerd Girl A: And my Forsaken Rogue in World of Warcraft just dinged 70.

Nerd Girl B: Ooh, grats.

Nerd Girl A: Thanks.

Nerd Girl C: What server are you on?

Nerd Girl A: Bladefist. But we digress.

Nerd Girl B: Anyway, why should we want to join if you're less interested in our gaming habits than in having us provide your current members with girlfriends?

Nerd Girl A: Plus, I'm pretty sure at least one of us is a lesbian...

Nerd Girl B: I am!

Nerd Girl C: Right, she is. And I already have a boyfriend.

Nerd Girl A: So for two out of three of us, "meeting men" ISN'T EVEN A SELLING POINT.

Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um, so do YOU...

Nerd Girl A: No.

Nerd Girl C: Finally, by telling us that your club is "a great way to meet men," you are basically saying "so far, not a single other woman has wanted to join our club."

Nerd Girls A, B, & C: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

Nerd Girl A: Red alert!

Nerd Girl B: A-OOOO-GAH!

Nerd Girl C: Danger, Wilhemina Robinson! Danger!

Nerd Girl A: Presumably, all those other women knew something we don't.

Nerd Girl C: Or, you know, exactly what we already DO.

Nerd Girl B: So we'll be declining your generous invitation, thanks.

Geek Recruiter: Oh. Um. Okay, then...

Nerd Girl B: Come on, let's get back to the dealers' room before that Doctor Who action figure sells out.

Nerd Girl C: Sure, but let's try to avoid the Star Trek props display this time or our Wolverine will just start waffling endlessly over the phasers again.

Nerd Girl A: I want a phaser. Should I buy a phaser? I don't really need a phaser, but OH GOD I NEED A PHASER.***

_______________________________________________
*Yes, he actually said this.
**AND THIS. Merciful heavens.
***I did not buy the phaser. I should have bought the phaser. I can't really afford the phaser, but OH GOD WHY DIDN'T I BUY THE PHASER?